Of Lions and Lambs
by Angie's Twilight
Summary: I was better than him now, better than he'd ever know. I was no longer the lamb. Edward always took Bella for granted. He ditched her for the popular crowd. Years later, Bella is forced to return to Forks, but she's moved on. His name is Matt. Can Edward win her back? Can he grow up? Sometimes it's just too late.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

"We'll keep it small, just some family and a few close friends. Charlie would like that." Billy told me over the phone as I finished packing my suitcase.

"I'll be on the first flight out," I promised and shifted the phone to my other ear, wedging it between the side of my face and my shoulder.

"Seth will be there to pick you up from the airport."

I smiled to myself. Although a sad smile it was still a smile. "Thank you, Billy. For everything."

"You know you're like a daughter to me, Bella. And you know Charlie was my best friend," he said, his voice sad.

I stopped packing and held the phone while rubbing a tired hand over my face. "Yeah, I know..." I trailed off, not really knowing what to say. I could hear the edge in my own voice, and I was sure Billy could hear it, too.

"Are you sure you're okay, Bella?" he asked after a long pause, concern apparent in his voice.

"I'm doing fine," I assured him. Of course that was a complete lie. I was far from fine, but he didn't need to know that.

I'd gotten the news over the phone from Sue, Billy's wife. I remembered dropping the phone and running into the other room to tell Rose, shouting, screaming, crying. She'd held me tight as I fell to pieces in her arms.

He'd been shot by some low-life drug dealer. That was huge news in the small, dreary town of Forks, Washington. Things like that never, ever happened in a place like Forks. They told me he died at the hospital almost immediately after he got there. Sue had told me Carlisle Cullen had done everything possible, and I had no doubt about that. Dr. Cullen had always been one of the most compassionate people I knew.

Dr. Cullen, father of Edward Cullen. I mentally winced and pushed those thoughts as far away as possible before I could delve into them. They belonged buried deep where I couldn't reach them even if I wanted to.

Luckily, Billy's voice served as the perfect distraction when he cut through my reverie. "Bella, I'm glad you're coming home. The house is still there for you, of course. Just as it was when you...left," he told me.

"Okay," I said, closing my eyes. The unwelcome memory of fleeing Forks flashed before my eyes without warning even as I tried to block it out. "I'll be at the airport at nine."

"Seth will be there," he promised me.

"I'll see you tomorrow then," I said.

We said our goodbyes and I hung up the phone as I zipped up my suitcase. I returned to the living room to see Rose sitting on my sofa, glass of wine in hand.

"Everything okay?" she asked, refilling my glass that sat on the coffee table between us.

I took it gratefully and had a large gulp of its contents to calm myself. "Uh, yeah," I said, not looking at her. "You'll give me a ride to the airport?"

"Of course I will. Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?" she asked, concerned.

I shook my head quickly. "I'll be okay," I assured her. "I think I might sell the house though," I told her casually as I glanced out the window of my apartment to see the beautiful Seattle skyline. Lights lit up the city in the dark of night.

"Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Whoa...Uh, that's a pretty big decision, Bella. You sure you want to do that?"

I shrugged. "I'm thinking about it."

"You grew up there, right? In that house, I mean?" she asked.

"Yeah, but it's not like I'll ever live there again," I told her seriously. I'd be damned if I ever had to live in that shitty little town again. "There are too many horrible memories there."

She studied me for a moment, her expression worried. "Bella, I know things were hard for you back then, but what about Charlie? That house is a part of him, too."

That was true, but I pushed those thoughts away. I hated reminiscing about my days in Forks.

I shrugged. "I'll think about it," I promised even though I knew I was pretty much sold on selling the place.

She nodded. "Are you sure you're going to be okay by yourself? The Cullens still live there, don't they?"

"Yes, they do, but I'll be fine, Rose." I planned on staying in Forks, Washington for as little time as possible.

* * *

I'd grown up with Edward Cullen, and it had only taken me till the age of eleven to fall in love with him...or at least to realize that I already was.

We'd become best friends as soon as I'd moved to Forks at the age of seven. My mother, Renee, had died in a car accident. Edward understood. He'd lost his mother to cancer. The only thing different in our stories was that my mother had been ripped from me instantly, and Edward had watched his die slowly. I guess I was the lucky one in that situation, if that were possible. At least it had happened quickly in my case. Edward had to sit by and watch it, tortured by knowing what was eventually to happen, only just a little boy.

We'd bonded over many things. One of them being baseball. I'd been a bit of a tomboy as a kid, and Edward always let me play with him and his brother, Emmett, and their friends. I remembered once when Edward's friend, James, pushed me too hard and I fell and scraped my knee on the concrete sidewalk. Edward gave him a black eye.

We grew up close over the years. If I wasn't at his house, he was at mine. He'd always sneak glances at me when he thought I wasn't paying any attention. He was my first Valentine at age nine. He was my first kiss at fourteen. He always held my hand even in front of Emmett, Jasper, and James, and he'd always ignore them when they made fun of him for it.

I was totally and irrevocably in love. I thought Edward Cullen was just too good to be true, and as many things always proved to be just that this did, too.

Edward met Tanya when we started high school, and _everything_ changed. That was the beginning of the end for us...if there ever had really been one. An us, I mean. Edward changed drastically, morphing into a stranger. I remembered feeling like my chest had been sliced open and my heart stomped on when I saw them at school together for the first time, holding hands like we used to, and the worst part was it came without warning.

One day he was my Edward, and then one day he just wasn't. One day he was my best friend, and then the next he was hanging out with the jocks and the party girls.

From the moment he fell for Tanya, I was erased from his life. He didn't speak to me anymore. When he did see me he ignored me, pretended I was never there. He didn't return my calls or texts anymore. I'd been pushed to the backseat of his life. It was as if I had never existed to him in the first place. And it hurt, hurt worse than I ever thought it could.

All I ever got was a glance every now and then in the hallway.

I remembered telling my best friend Angela Webber about it, crying my eyes out and then eating a disgusting amount of chocolate and ice cream with her. It was to be the first night of many that I'd cry over Edward Cullen.

Tanya made my high school life a living hell. I was dubbed the freak of Forks High, and Edward... Edward just sat back and let it happen. And my life was hell until about the middle of sophomore year when Edward figured out he no longer needed Tanya to be popular. He'd gained enough friends that he could dump her and his popularity still skyrocketed. When they broke up, Tanya no longer had a huge target painted on my forehead.

I'd wondered if Edward would come back to me after he broke up with Tanya, but he didn't.

I watched as every girl at Forks High School threw themselves at him, and he gladly accepted their attention. He earned a reputation as somewhat of a womanizer, but every girl still wanted him. They wanted him for his looks or his money or his popularity. It frustrated me to no end that he couldn't see I was the only one who had genuinely cared for him.

Through it all though, Emmett had remained my friend. I found it awkward though since he was related to the enemy, so I never tried all that hard to stay close. I made a group of close friends, though, and that was good enough for me. Angela remained a loyal friend throughout high school, and we still called each other frequently. She even visited me with Charlie on holidays, but I never visited them in Forks.

But as they say time heals all wounds, and no matter how big the hole was left there by Edward, I had moved on. I met Matt in college. We both attended Dartmouth and he was...well, he was perfect. Handsome, smart, funny, charming, and a great dancer.

Still, there was always that thorn stuck in my side, Edward Cullen.


	2. Chapter 2

**"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." ~Mahatma Gandhi**

**Chapter Two**

Billy had been telling the truth when he'd said Charlie's house hadn't changed a bit. It was still the same place with the same old furniture and same old tick marks in the doorway to measure my growing height over the years. I even remembered the smell. It smelled like...well, like home. As much as I detested Forks I had missed home, this house.

It had Charlie written all over it. There was still a six pack of beer in the fridge. The remote sat on the armrest of his old brown recliner in that was parking directly in front of the TV in the living room, just where he always left it. Mail was sloppily stacked on the dining room table. I found his shaving kit in the bathroom along with his red plaid shirt he always wore when he went fishing. The toilet seat was left up. His bed was a mess and a pair of muddy-looking boots decorated his floor.

My bedroom was just as I'd left it. I found an old copy of my favorite book, Wuthering Heights, on the old desk I used to sit at to do homework. The shabby purple bedspread was still there, along with the loose floorboard right at the foot of the bed.

Everything was as it should be, but it felt odd being here. I could definitely feel the space of years that had gone by unvisited to this old place that I loved even if I didn't care to admit it. To sell...or not to sell?

Something caught my attention in the kitchen, however. My old keys hung on a hook above the light switch. Had he kept a set for some reason? A small part of me hoped the gigantic thing it unlocked would still be here. I smiled to myself and gripped the keys in my hand before heading out to the shed. Charlie's fishing gear was out there as well as all his tools and other junk he didn't have room for in the house.

And there it was. I smiled to myself as I pulled back the large blue tarp covering my monster of a truck. I thought he'd sold the thing years ago, but I was actually glad to find that he hadn't. I couldn't remember why I hadn't taken the thing with me to Seattle. I rubbed my hand over the faded orange paint job. I could take it with me when I left, maybe get a new paint job.

I laughed quietly thinking of how this thing would look parked in the streets of Seattle. I could even—

"Bella?" a musical voice came from outside the shed somewhere. I knew that voice, hated it and loved it.

My heart skipped a beat and I felt a dull pain in my chest as the shed door was pushed open, revealing Edward. My breath caught in my throat and I wanted desperately to disappear. I hoped the ground would swallow me whole.

I opened my mouth, but no words would come out.

There he was. It was the boy I'd grown up with, the boy I'd helped grieve over the loss of his mother, helped me grieve over the loss of mine. He was also the boy I'd cried myself to sleep over night after night. He hadn't changed much, still the same tall, lanky built except he'd built up a little more muscle. His face was just as gorgeous, too, if it was possible for a boy, or man, to be gorgeous, but he had a slightly more mature, masculine look to him that came with age, I suppose.

He warily came closer, probably sensing my shock. I'm sure it was written all over my face. He'd told me before that I was an open book, that all he had to do was look into my eyes and he could read my mind. He'd also told me before time and time again that I was a terrible liar.

"Bella?" he repeated cautiously.

It was odd seeing him after all these years. It certainly brought back plenty of memories, not all of them terrible but most of them. Finally, I got a hold of myself and wiped the emotion off my face.

"What are you doing here, Edward?" I asked blandly.

A regretful look flashed across his face, but he quickly recovered, making me doubt it had ever been there in the first place or if I'd simply misread. "I came to see you," he said as if it were that obvious, the most natural thing in the world.

I eyed him suspiciously. "Why? What do you want?"

He had the nerve to look offended at my inquiry. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I haven't talked to you in years. You never seemed to give a damn about me before, so what is it you want now?" I demanded, letting the anger rise. I have to admit that I felt a small victory at the hurt that flamed across his face along with the flush that was practically an admission of guilt. He looked like a sad dog with his tail between his legs. Good. I wanted him like that, feeling like shit.

"Carlisle called me that day from the hospital," he said.

I looked away then, pretending to be busy with inspecting my old truck. "Yeah? And?" I asked childishly.

He frowned at that. "Bella..." he began.

"Edward," I said, cutting him off from whatever he was about to say. And then what I said next took a lot of strength to say. "I want you to leave."

He looked like I'd just stabbed him in his stomach before it was masked with confusion. Then determination set in. "No, I'm not going anywhere. Charlie died, and I'd want you here if it had been Carlisle," he told me.

I paused, gritting my teeth. I was regretting not bringing Rose with me now. By now, she would have already had her foot shoved up his—

"You'd come, wouldn't you?" he asked, sounding uncertain now.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Of course I would, but only for Esme, Emmett, and Carlisle," I said bitterly. "How did you even know I was here?"

"News travels fast in Forks. You know that..."

I glared at him. "I don't need you here."

A pained expression marred his perfect features, but I didn't stop there.

"It's just like when we were kids in high school, huh? Always pretending I didn't exist until no one else was around," I told him, laughing mockingly. I already had the knife in him, but that wasn't enough. I wanted to twist it, to make it really hurt.

His mouth dropped slightly, and I could see the intense look in his eyes as I pushed the knife a little deeper.

"Edward, I don't _want_ you here. Just get out. I listened to enough of your pathetic apologies when we were young. Enough," I said, preoccupying myself with a box next to Charlie's workbench. I'd have to go through all his stuff.

At least he had the decency to look guilty.

I looked at him this time. "Get out!" I yelled, throwing my hand toward the door. "Get the hell out of here!" I yelled even louder before going back to pretending to look through the box of junk.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him leave, wordlessly. Good.

It_ was_ good...right?

* * *

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	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

_Edward POV, age seventeen_

I'd arrived at the Swan residence in a rush, barely remembering to put my car in park. I ran up to the front door. This was Bella, my Bella, and I _needed_ her. I knew she hated me. I knew it, but it was Bella. She'd always been a way better person than me, and she'd always forgiven me when I'd fucked up.

So, she'd forgive me now...right? She had to. I needed her.

I knocked repeatedly on the door until it swung open to reveal a rather angry Charlie Swan, Bella's father and Chief of Police here in Forks, Washington.

"What the hell are you doing here, Edward?" His voice was angry and he was quickly turning a dangerous shade of red.

Shit, I better make this quick. I knew he owned a gun.

"Uh, i-is Bella here, Chief S-Swan?" I asked, stumbling over my words like a nervous thirteen-year-old boy about to lose his virginity.

He glared at me. "She's not here. Even if she were, I wouldn't let you in to see her," he said gruffly.

I swallowed hard. "Where can I find her? Please, I really need to talk to her."

He smirked then...almost triumphantly like he'd won something. I stared at him puzzled, waiting for an answer as a disturbing chill ran up my spine. I knew whatever he was about to say would hurt.

"She's at the airport," he said smugly.

My jaw nearly dropped and my heart skipped a few beats, but I refused to believe what he was telling me.

"Why is she at the airport?" I demanded, feeling sick.

"She's moving to Phoenix to live with her Aunt," is all he would say.

No...

I couldn't lose her, not Bella.

My stomach turned and I could feel the color drain from my face. "She...she's not coming back." It wasn't a question. I already knew it was true.

"No. No, she's not, and it's all thanks to you," he snarled at me. "I hope you're happy with your choices that led to this, Edward." He smiled bitterly at me, probably happy to see my broken expression. "She's gone. Have a Merry Christmas with your family, Edward."

Then he slammed the door in my face.

Bella is my family, I wanted to say.

The realization hit hard as I stood on Bella's porch alone as the whistling wind blew snow around me.

_She's gone._

I couldn't feel my legs anymore, and pretty soon they were gone beneath me.

* * *

_EPOV, present_

"I'm telling you it's not a good idea, Edward," Emmett told me for the millionth time.

I ignored him, refusing to believe Bella would shut me down in person. Years had gone by without any of my e-mails or phone calls returned, but she was here now, in person. I couldn't let this opportunity pass me by.

She was still Bella. She would forgive me. She had to. I _needed_ her to.

I couldn't lose her again. At least not without trying.

So, against Emmett's, Carlisle's, and Esme's protests I drove to Bella's house. The word had already spread that she was back in town, and I knew where she'd be. It seemed like it took me forever to get there, but eventually I did.

I walks hastily up to the front door, and nervously, with sweaty palms, rang the doorbell.

No answer.

I knew she was in town. Everyone was talking about it. Maybe she just wasn't home...?

I ran around back and scanned the yard. No Bella. The shed had been opened though. Slowly, I walked closer, listening for anything. I heard a swift shuffling sound inside and took it as an invitation to go in.

"Bella?" I asked quietly as I entered.

And there she was, eyes wide when her eyes found me. Her chocolate eyes locked with mine and I almost smiled. Almost...until I saw the hatred spark in them.

Shit.

Her mouth opened and closed several times, but nothing came out. No words were formed.

There she was. She'd only grown more beautiful over the years. She had more curves now. Her mahogany-colored hair was up in a sloppy bug. Loose curls hung her face. Her plump lips were set in a pout.

She couldn't have been more beautiful.

She was perfect.

I came closer, but the look on her face was still partially full of shock.

"Bella?" I repeated carefully.

It felt almost odd seeing her after so long, but a good odd. It felt like some monumental piece that had been missing in my life had returned. And that's exactly what had happened. Bella was my monumental piece that I simply couldn't do without.

"What are you doing here, Edward?" she asked flatly.

"I came to see you," I told her. The same thought kept running through my head. Please don't hate me.

_Please don't hate me, I thought desperately as I saw the crushed looked on Bella's face out of the corner of my eye as I walked down the hall hand-in-hand with Tanya._

_Bella, who was near tears, was standing next to Emmett who looked like he wanted to beat the shit out of me. And I would have let him._

_I did not look at them as I walked by, and I laughed as Tanya whispered something I wasn't paying attention to in my ear. All the while, my stomach turned with guilt and pain of hurting Bella._

_Bella was my best friend. She always had been. She'd understand when I told her later. She had to. I _needed _her to._

She eyed me suspiciously. "Why? What do you want?"

"What do you mean?" But of course I knew exactly why she was acting this way.

"I mean, I haven't talked to you in years. You never seemed to give a damn about me before, so what is it you want now?" she demanded, the anger in her voice rising.

"Carlisle called me that day from the hospital," I said.

I looked away then, pretending to be busy with inspecting my old truck. "Yeah? And?" she demanded childishly.

"Bella..." I began, frowning.

"Edward," she said, cutting me off. "I want you to leave."

"No, I'm not going anywhere," I said, happy my voice didn't crack. "Charlie died, and I'd want you here if it had been Carlisle."

I paused, thinking for a moment.

"You'd come, wouldn't you?" I asked.

_Right? Please, please say you'd be there for me._

She rolled her eyes at me. "Of course I would, but only for Esme, Emmett, and Carlisle," she said bitterly. "How did you even know I was here?"

"News travels fast in Forks. You know that..."

She shot me a murderous glare. "I don't need you here."

I felt a sharp stabbing pain in my chest...my chest felt too small. Just like I had the day she left Forks. She couldn't possibly mean that, could she?

"It's just like when we were kids in high school, huh? Always pretending I didn't exist until no one else was around," she spat at me, laughing mockingly.

My mouth dropped. I didn't know what to say... She was right, of course, and it hurt all the more because she was.

She glared at me. "I don't need you here," she repeated. "Just get out. I listened to enough of your pathetic apologies when we were young. Enough," she said as she began rummaging through a nearby box of Charlie's stuff.

She turned to look at me again, fire in her eyes. "Get out!" she yelled, angrily motioning towards the door.

I didn't move right away.

"Get the hell out of here!" she yelled even louder before going back to looking through the box.

I'd never seen Bella angry before...ever. And she'd never yelled at me.

It was time to stop fooling myself. She had finally wised up when she'd fled Forks and realized what a selfish idiot I was.

Wordlessly, I left her alone.

I got in my car and before I knew it I was at Emmett's house, not really remembering how I'd gotten from point A to point B. He was outside already, getting ready for the barbeque tonight. He gave me a knowing look as I slowly got out of my car.

"I told you so," he said.

Wow, I guess I looked as crappy as I felt.

"Emmett, you have to help me get her back."


	4. Chapter 4

**Of Lions and Lambs**

_Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight. No copyright infringement intended._

The rest is mine though.

****Don't forget I'm on Facebook now. Links on my profile.**

I apologize in advance for any mistakes you may find...

* * *

**EPOV**

Emmett just stood there, shaking his head and smirking to himself. "Don't you think you're a day late and a dollar short?"

I sighed, closing my eyes and pinching the bridge of my nose. I should have known Emmett would be no help.

"Besides, word in town is she's engaged."

My eyes snapped open and flashed to his to measure the veracity of his statement. Surely Emmett wouldn't joke about something like that...

"You're lying," I hissed, annoyed he would even play with me like that.

"Am I? Bella was Charlie's only kid, you know. She was his pride and joy, his only daughter. He bragged about her to everybody in town; you just have your head stuck up your own ass most of the time to listen," he said simply, shrugging.

He talked about it so casually you would have thought he was inviting you to a fucking birthday party.

He just laughed at the expression on my face. "So, if you even want Bella in your life at all, which you don't even deserve anyway, you'll have to fight for her for the first time in your life."

* * *

**A/N: **Yeah, this was just a short update.

Let me know what you guys think...short, frequent update drabbles or chapters that may take me a while longer?

It may vary..depends on how I'm feeling about the story.

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Stick around if ya want...


	5. Chapter 5

**Of Lions and Lambs**

_Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. No copyright infringement intended._

**The rest, however, is mine.**

**Thank you guys so much for all of your kind and encouraging reviews. I realize most of you want to kick Edward's ass...Well, don't worry; Rosalie is on your side.**

**I apologize in advance for any mistakes you may find...**

* * *

**Chapter Five**

"I'm glad you came. I know it was short notice, but I realized as soon as I got here that I couldn't do this without you. How'd you get here so quickly though?"

Rose gave me a knowing smile. "Bella, I was already on my way here when you called."

I sat up and stared wide-eyed at her. "What?"

She nodded, sipping on her beer like it was no big deal. "I packed my bags a few days ago and reserved some much-needed vacation time from work. I knew you'd get here and freak out, so..."

I stared at her in awe for a moment before smothering her with a hug, causing her to almost spill her beer. "I love you."

I felt her chest vibrate as she laughed. "I love you, too, Bella."

Rosalie was like my Cristina on Grey's Anatomy. She was my person, plain and simple. If I ever murdered someone, she was the person I would call to help me hide the body and run.

"You're always here when I need you," I told her, finally releasing her from my death grip.

"You'd be here for me," she said which was 100% true. "Now, where's this Cullen guy so I can kick his ass?"

I groaned, falling back on the couch. "I don't know, Rose, but I don't want to have to deal with him. Please don't kick his ass," I begged her, but there was no stopping Rose when someone was put on her shit list. It felt like high school all over, me begging Emmett not to make everything worse by killing Edward. Hmm, I bet Emmett and Rose would get along with that in common alone.

"Oh, I'm kicking his ass. Believe that. I'll find him one way or another." She sat back calmly and took another sip of beer. "This is a small town, after all. We're bound to run in to each other at some point..."

Rose could be really scary especially when she was deadly calm. I definitely wouldn't want to be the ass at the end of her foot. At the same time I frowned at the realization that her words were true. This was a small town. I'd run into Edward at some point, too, and the longer I stayed the bigger chance I had of that happening.

"What's wrong?" Rosalie asked.

"Huh?"

"I saw the look on your face. You were going to your dark place," she said, setting her beer down on the table.

She knew me so well... Like I said, my person.

"I'm okay, Rose," I assured her.

She didn't look convinced, but lucky for me she didn't press. "So when's Matt coming?"

"Wednesday, a couple of days before the...funeral," I told her.

She nodded. "Good, I like him. He's a keeper, Bella. A really great guy."

I smiled genuinely because it was absolutely true. "I know."

"Yeah, a really great guy," she repeated, studying me for a moment. "And you shouldn't let Cullen stand in the way of you being happy, you know."

What?

I frowned. "You think I let an old childhood friend get in the way of my relationship with Matt?" I asked nervously, already knowing the answer and knowing Rose would catch me. Edward had been so much more than just some childhood friend.

"No," she said, shaking her head. "I think you let your unresolved first _love_ get in the way. I mean, you were in love with the guy _for years _even though he certainly didn't deserve it, and he was an asshole. He made you fall in love with him and led you on, knowing exactly what would happen, and then he screwed you over for some captain of the cheerleading team slut. God, your life could be a soap opera..."

I sighed, slumping back on Charlie's sofa. My god, Rose was right...about all of it, not just the sad fact that my life could be made into a TV drama.

"I mean it, Bella. If you need to find some sort of...closure with Edward just so you can move forward then do it."

* * *

**Well, there you have it. ****Good, bad, or ugly?**

**I know you guys freaked out a little when Emmett said that Bella was engaged in my last update, but all will be revealed in time, I promise :)**

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	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Twilight. No copyright infingement intended.

**I apologize in advance for any mistakes you may find. **

**Thank you for all of your kind reviews and support :)**

* * *

**Chapter Six**

"This isn't going to work."

"It'll work fine."

"I don't think so."

"Just shut up, and do your part."

Emmett rolled his eyes at me. "Edward, you're my brother and I love you, but you should know I'm only doing this for two simple reasons. One, that Rosalie chick is seriously hot, and, two, I'm hoping that once this little plan of yours fails or blows up if your face that maybe it'll smack you back into reality and out of your denial."

I shoved him towards the entrance of The Lodge. "Just go inside and start already."

"Denying denial," he sang childishly, rolling his eyes at me again but going inside to set the plan in motion.

I watched closely as Emmett went inside and made his way towards Bella and Rosalie's table at the far corner of the restaurant, talking and laughing loudly with a few people along the way. I saw the surprise flash across Bella's face as Emmett greeted her and introduced himself to Rosalie who seemed intrigued by his presence.

_Good._

Emmett spoke to Bella for a moment before having a seat in front of them. Step two completed.

I waited outside impatiently, pacing around and glancing inside at them every so often. I probably looked like a lunatic to people passing by, but I couldn't find it in myself to care at the moment. I waited at least ten whole minutes or at least what felt like ten minutes to me before taking a deep breath and going inside.

The warmth of the restaurant enveloped me, making my cheeks sting at the sudden temperature change from the cold night air. I pretended to scan the restaurant for good show before looking where I already knew Emmett was sitting. I walked over awkwardly.

"Emmett?" I called.

He turned to look at me and smiled. "Oh, there you are Edward," Emmett said casually. "We were just talking about you."

"Oh, really?" I asked.

I didn't look at Bella for fear I'd lose my nerve even though I could feel her eyes on my face.

"What took you so long man? Listen, I'm glad you got here when you did. I was just telling Bella and Rosalie, here, about your, uh, condition. Rosalie's actually a nurse, you know," he smiled, throwing a wink at Rosalie who arched an eyebrow at him but still held an amused look on her face.

I glanced at Bella, unable to stop myself, and saw her staring at me. She looked extremely uncomfortable, and Rosalie...for some reason, she glared daggers at me. I looked back at Emmett whose face gave nothing away. Was this part of the plan that I didn't know about?

I eyed him suspiciously, confused. "What condition?" I asked warily.

"You know, that little problem you were having," he said, covering the side of his mouth from Bella and Rosalie, but purposely saying it loud enough so they could hear anyway.

"What are you talking about? I don't have a problem…" I trailed off, glaring at him. He was up to no good. What the hell had he done?

"Oh, come on, Eddie! Rosie here's a professional; she won't laugh. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. In fact, we were just discussing the fact that lots of guys have performance issues and—"

"What!?" I shouted, my eyes almost popping out of my head and my jaw dropping to the floor. Had I heard him wrong? Was I hearing things now?

The amused expression on his face told me everything I needed to know. The bastard had set me up. I was going to murder him.

Emmett just smirked, remaining calm the entire time. "You know. Your, uh, _little_ problem, Edward," he said, pointing not so discreetly at my pants, right at my dick to be exact.

Yes, I was going to murder him…slowly and painfully. I was seeing red, but right before I was about to lunge at Emmett…

"Bella?" a deep voice came from behind us, stopping everyone. It was unmistakably male.

Everyone looked passed me and I spun around. A tall blonde guy. He was staring at Bella, but not like a friend you just happened to run into but like a woman you happened to love.

"Matt?" I heard Bella's surprised yet happy voice from behind me, making me even angrier.

Matt? Who the fuck...?

His eyes shifted to me for a moment before they went back to Bella.

"Is everything okay?" he asked her, eyeing me and Emmett. He seemed to sense the tension, but he wasn't the only one. We'd managed to gather the attention of a few on-lookers with my little outburst.

There was silence behind me, but I did not turn. I was too busy glaring daggers at this Matt guy who didn't really seemed to care or notice as he had eyes only for Bella apparently. Gross.

Rosalie stood up beside us and then there was Bella, heading for Matt's waiting arms. They hugged each other tightly as Bella pressed her body to his. The worst part was she looked genuinely happy to see him. It wasn't an act.

It didn't take an idiot to figure out who this was. I could put two and two together.

And then the worst of it came when I had to witness them kiss. A deep rumble started in my chest, and I had to bite back the growl that threatened to escape my lips.

"Well, aren't you going to introduce everyone, Bella?" Emmett finally asked as I heard his chair scrape against the floor as he stood.

"Oh, sorry," Bella rushed out. "Matt, you already know Rose, and this is Emmett and—"

Everyone stopped to look at me when Bella broke off. She was staring at me strangely. Emmett slapped me playfully but not so playfully on my back.

"Loosen up bro," he told me with an underlying warning tone in his voice. It was a coded message: calm the fuck down or you're going to make an even bigger mess.

I realized my hands were balled into tight fists, and my expression was less than friendly. I replaced my hostile face and slipped on a forced smile.

"And, umm, Emmett, Edward, this is my boyfriend, Matt," Bella said, smiling at the fucker who grinned widely at her.

It was a miracle and quite a fucking accomplishment of sheer willpower mind you that I managed to stop myself from glaring this time, but all I could zero in on was his arm snaked around her waist.

Wait a minute...

"Boyfriend?" Emmett and I asked in unison. Emmett sounded more surprised while I sounded more disgusted.

Bella looked at the both of us, nodding slowly as if she knew she was missing something.

"Yes, boyfriend," Matt, the fucker, cut in as he extended his hand to Emmett who gladly took it, the fucking traitor. When he offered it to me, I was stiff at a board and I made no move to shake his hand.

The tension in the room rose to a new level as everyone stared at us. Matt dropped his hand and Bella looked red as a tomato.

What happened to fiancé? Damn it, Emmett... Another one of his fucking stories.

"Word around town was that this strapping young lad was your fiancé, Bells," Emmett told her.

I watched her closely for a reaction.

Bella's eyes widened at the new information and she looked puzzled for a moment.

"Fiancé? Why would people think—" Bella began.

"That's what Charlie had been telling people anyway," Emmett told her.

Bella's mouth dropped open, looking confused as hell. "W-what?" she stammered before suddenly looking up at Matt. "Did…I mean, did you…?"

Matt looked down at her sheepishly, frowning. "We can talk about it later," he told her.

What?

Oh, fuck no.

Realization dawned on me. Charlie had known that Matt was going to ask Bella. Matt had asked Charlie…for permission, and Charlie had agreed. Emmett seemed to realize this, too, as he threw me a sideways glance. Rose looked smug. Smug just like Charlie had the day when he gladly ruined me as he delivered the news that Bella had left.

Son of a bitch. Fuck, it was real now…especially with actually seeing the guy here. Damn it.

I couldn't stand it anymore.

I left abruptly, not caring what anyone thought. I pushed the door of the restaurant open with a little more force than necessary as I rushed back out into the cold night air with hurried, angry strides.

Emmett appeared behind me, gripping my arm. I shook it off as I kept going, but he followed, keeping up easily.

"Edward, what the fuck was that?" he demanded, grabbing me by the arm again but not letting me shake it off this time.

"What was what?" I demanded, finally able to rip my arm from his grip as we stopped. Luckily there weren't too many people around.

"Hey, I warned you about this. I told you it would blow up in your face," he said sternly, glaring at me.

"Yeah, and you didn't tell me you'd be part of the reason it did," I sneered, glaring right back at him.

"You deserved it and you know it, Edward," he said gruffly, stepping loser. "Bella is not your puppet anymore. She won't follow you blindly like she did when she trusted you when we were kids."

I scoffed angrily but knew he was right.

But it didn't do anything to stop my anger. In fact, it only caused it to grow.

"I'm going back in there," I decided. Before I could take one step back towards The Lodge, I was smashed up against a brick wall. Emmett's forearm pressed roughly across my throat keeping me in place and also hindered me from speaking.

"No, Edward, you're not. Now, I let you do this tonight so you could see for yourself, but you leave her be now. Bella's happy. Don't destroy her...again or I'll destroy you, and this time Bella won't be able to stop me," he threatened, his voice menacing. "She's moved on from you, and you will let her stay that way or I will hurt you."

He pressed against me harder until I could no longer breathe before he released me roughly, causing me to fall to the cold, hard cement of the ground, coughing and breathing heavily. He towered over me, finally offering me his hand while I glared at him and rubbed my neck where his arm had been cutting off my oxygen.

Before I could take it…

"You'll stay away from Bella from now on," a deadly voice came from behind Emmett, blocked by his large form that stood over me.

* * *

**Thanks for reading. Leave me a review ;)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Of Lions and Lambs**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Twilight. No copyright infringement intended.

**I apologize in advance for any mistakes you may find...**

* * *

**"We accept the love we think we deserve." ~Stephen Chbosky, _The Perks of Being a Wallflower_**

**Chapter 7**

**BPOV, _age fifteen_**

"What's going to happen tomorrow, Edward?" I asked quietly, afraid of the answer.

He shifted next to me, probably looking for an escape. "What do you mean?"

Of course, he knew exactly what I meant. He was just stalling, dodging the question as he often did. He was toying with me, and it actually frustrated me to no end.

"I mean, will you go back to ignoring me?" I demanded, my irritation slowly rising.

He sighed as he lay back on his bed, throwing an arm over his eyes as if shielding himself from something, perhaps the whole world…or perhaps just me.

"Well?" I pushed, tugging on his arm.

He didn't move. He was still as a marble statue.

"Edward?" I asked, speaking louder this time.

He groaned, finally putting his arm down and looking at me. "Bella, it's complicated, okay? You...you're different," he said.

Was that a bad thing? Puzzled, I just stared at him, waiting for him to continue.

He sighed, closing his eyes briefly and pinching the bridge of his nose. He sat up abruptly, running a hand through his wild hair, a habit of his.

"You're not like Tanya or her friends," he finally said.

I blinked a few times, trying to let that sink in. Well, no… No, I _wasn't_ anything like Tanya, but she was mean, cruel, and shallow, so I didn't see it as a bad thing.

"Is that a bad thing?" I asked aloud, skeptical yet still unsure just because Edward was making me doubt myself. Did he wish I was more like Tanya? Suddenly, I felt very insecure.

"No," he said quickly. "No, Bella. Don't change whatever you do. I just mean that Tanya…well, she's popular, you know? And she...she, uh, wants me to be her boyfriend."

I felt the dagger when it pierced my heart, but I couldn't cry right now. Not in front of Edward, at least.

"Oh," I said lamely, trying hopelessly to ignore the pain building in my chest as it threatened to form in my eyes.

"Yeah, um, I-I said yes," he stumbled over his words. He seemed nervous now.

"Okay?" was all I managed to force out. What did he want? Did he want me to be happy for him? I wasn't. I couldn't even pretend.

He sighed, sitting up and turning towards me. "Bella..."

"What?"

"We're still best friends. It's just that Tanya...she gets jealous really easily, and you're like a threat to her," he told me. "And since she's my girlfriend now..."

"You can't hang out with me anymore," I finished bluntly. It wasn't a question.

"Well, no. I mean, at least not at school in front of her," he added quickly.

I was angry and confused, tired and annoyed.

"So, what? I'm your secret? I thought...I thought that you...well, that you, um, liked _me_," I said. It took a lot of courage to get those words out, believe me.

He wouldn't look at me. I glared at his profile, willing him to show some sort of emotion. In that moment, I wanted to hurt him, make him feel how shitty he'd made me feel. I wanted to crack that perfect, cool exterior of his. In that moment I really wanted to hate him, but somehow my heart couldn't.

"I do like you, Bella. I do, but Tanya...she can give me things, you know. I mean, Dad wants me in sports and clubs...just like he was, and she's my best way in. Look, as soon as I get what I need, everything will go back to the way it was," he promised.

Except it never did.

* * *

**BPOV, _present_**

My head was spinning after tonight's events. I felt like I may very well pass out. Matt had planned to propose. He'd asked Charlie's permission just before he'd died, and Charlie had giving him his blessing.

"I was planning on asking you on Christmas," Matt confessed. "I had a romantic dinner planned in my head, and I was trying to find a clever way to ask you, to hide the ring, but then Charlie died and you were devastated, and I knew it would break your heart if I told you that he'd given me permission just days...before."

I sat next to Matt on Charlie's sofa in the house I grew up in while I listened to him relay the conversation he'd had with my dead father.

"He'd said your whole life, even when you were a kid, you'd always lived life on a flimsy bridge, Bella. And he said that you didn't just walk on it either; you played on the railing and teetered dangerously close to the edge, ready to leap," Matt began, smiling faintly.

Suddenly, my chest felt too small.

"He said it had always been his job to catch you if that ever happened, if you ever fell, but that he knew he wouldn't have to worry about that anymore," Matt said, his eyes boring into mine intensely. "He said he knew I would take care of you, and he was right, Bella. I will take care of you."

I was sure my heart stopped beating for just a second. I could feel the weight in my chest as I let everything he was saying slowly sink in.

"Breathe, Bella," Matt reminded me gently.

I slowly released the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding and the burning in my chest was relieved.

"I will take care of you, Bella," Matt said again, his words making their way right into the fear that surrounded my heart, easing it slightly. Matt always had been good at that, putting my fears at ease. It was how he'd gotten me to go on a first date with him in the first place.

He really was too good for me. He was good _to_ me.

"I don't want you to have to do that," I frowned.

"Too bad," he shrugged. "I want to."

Matt Carter was truly a good man, a very good man, truly better than I deserved, and it wasn't fair of me to be with him and only give him part of myself. He deserved more than me, better than me and what I could offer him.

My conversation with Rose ran through my head.

_She nodded. "Good, I like him. He's a keeper, Bella. A really great guy."_

_I smiled genuinely because it was absolutely true. "I know."_

_"Yeah, a really great guy," she repeated, studying me for a moment. "And you shouldn't let Cullen stand in the way of you being happy, you know."_

_What?_

_I frowned. "You think I let an old childhood friend get in the way of my relationship with Matt?" I asked nervously, already knowing the answer and knowing Rose would catch me. Edward had been so much more than just some childhood friend._

_"No," she said, shaking her head. "I think you let your unresolved first love get in the way. I mean, you were in love with the guy for years even though he certainly didn't deserve it, and he was an asshole. He made you fall in love with him and led you on, knowing exactly what would happen, and then he screwed you over for some captain of the cheerleading team slut. God, your life could be a soap opera..."_

Rose knew. She understood the bitter heartache I'd experienced that had made me put my walls up with everyone else.

"Matt," I began. "I don't think...I can't be what you want." The words sounded bitter on my tongue. I didn't like admitting them. I almost winced, waiting for the attack. I waited for him to stand up and leave me here alone like I deserved, to realize I was right.

But he stayed where his was, his arm wrapping around my shoulders to pull me closer. I couldn't help but lean into his warmth; it was impossible not to.

"But you are. You've always been enough for me and more," he told me, his words strong and confident, and the look in his eyes told me he was nothing but sincere. "You're what I _need_."

"Matt, I—"

He put his hand up, motioning for me to let him finish. "I talked to Rose. She called me this morning and told me that I had exactly no time at all to get up here and make sure the woman I loved knew how much I loved her. Look, I don't know all the details about what happened between you and this guy, Cullen, but I know he didn't treat you right. I know he took you for granted and shoved you aside. I know that somehow he damaged you."

I think my jaw was on the floor at this point, and I couldn't even focus on being mad at Rose right now because Matt knew all about Edward Cullen and who he was to me. He didn't know _everything_, but he knew enough...and he was still here. He'd still come to be with me and to fight for me even though that was not necessary.

"But I love you, Bella Swan. I love you more than I ever thought it was possible to love a person, and it's okay if you're not ready to love me that way yet. I can wait. I'll gladly take any part of you that you'll give me."

Matt was telling me things you only heard in movies, and he meant them. All I could think was...wow. I realized in that moment that I could love Matt, and I also realized something in that moment that I'd known all along, what Rose had been trying to tell me all along, something even Charlie had been trying to tell me. I was falling in love with someone, and I had to stop beating myself up about it. It was okay.

I had to stop asking myself if I was even good enough. I had to stop questioning everything all because of one guy that had managed to con his way into my heart and wedge a knife there.

Charlie had once told me that I had to learn to love what was good for me, and I saw now what he meant. Matt was what was good for me. I needed him, too.

And I had to be better. For him. I needed to settle things with Edward once and for all. And this was me, pulling the knife out. I wasn't sure if I loved Matt as much as he loved me yet, but I could say I was on my way. And he had promised to wait for me.

There was one think I could tell him for certain.

"I need you, too, Matt," I told him truthfully. _More than you'll ever know._

He eyes burned into mine with a new level of intensity I hadn't seen there before. "Good," he said before his lips descended on mine.

* * *

**EPOV**

_"You'll stay away from Bella from now on," a deadly voice came from behind Emmett, blocked by his large form that stood over me._

Emmett spun around. "Matt?" he questioned, shock evident in his voice as he stepped closer, probably trying to get a better look to make sure he wasn't imagining things.

I got to my feet quickly, stepping forward to stand beside Emmett, and sure enough there he was. This night just kept getting fucking worse and worse.

"And if I don't?" I challenged, glaring at Matt.

He just smirked. "Then I promise to let Rose come out here and have this discussion with you instead of me."

"Am I supposed to be scared?" I demanded sarcastically, arching an eyebrow.

"I would be," Matt shrugged. "Clearly you don't really know Rose, but she has quite the temper, especially when people mess with those she cares about," he said pointedly.

I looked at Emmett whose facial expression was all wrong. Instead of even looking offended that the bastard had just threatened me, his eyes were glazed over in lust.

"Rose has a temper, huh? That's so hot," Emmett said longingly.

I elbowed him in the ribs and he glared at me.

"What? It is…" he defended, making me roll my eyes.

Matt chuckled darkly before his face hardened again when he looked at me. "Look, Cullen, I don't know all the details, but I do know you hurt Bella once before and you won't get the chance to do it again. Back off."

"Bella will see who she wants to see," I told him.

This made him smile. "Yes, and from what I hear she certainly doesn't want to see you, does she?"

"You don't know shit," I growled angrily but of course he was right.

He kept his calm composure. "Oh, but I do. I can smell shit from miles away, and you reek of it. Bella is mine now, Edward. You had your chance, and you fucked it up. Don't ever forget that."

I saw red for the second time tonight. I lunged for Matt, ready to tear him limb from limb as the possessive, jealous streak I had made an appearance. Emmett yanked me back, restraining me.

"Edward, he's not worth it!" Emmett yelled into my ear.

I managed to elbow in the side of the face and maneuver out of his strong grip. I was in Matt's face before Emmett could recover.

Matt had a look of satisfaction on his face. He'd been waiting for this, of course. He wanted me to do this.

"Go ahead, Cullen. Give Bella yet another reason to hate you," he challenged, looking down his nose at me.

"Fuck you," I ground out through gritted teeth.

He eyed me with pity and shook his head. "Just remember what I said. Stay away from Bella," he warned before turning and going back inside.

He was in my place, where I belonged, where I longed to be.

* * *

**Drop me a review? Thanks for reading ;)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Of Lions and Lambs**

_Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight. No copyright infringement intended._

**The rest is mine. I apologize in advance for any mistakes you may find...**

* * *

**"Sometimes you can't let go of the past without facing it again." ~Gail Tsukiyama**

**Chapter Eight**

I stood motionless outside of Edward Cullen's house, afraid to go just one step further. I wasn't sure if it was fear of what I would hear or if I simply subconsciously knew this was a bad idea. I'd been chewing relentlessly on my bottom lip for at least the past three hours now, and I was beginning to think I'd need stitches if I kept it up. The snow continued to gather and my truck was slowly beginning to disappear into the white ground as I stood frozen on his front porch like some creepy stalker.

Edward lived in a decent house on the outskirts of Forks. Well...actually, it was a beautiful house. It sat alone, surrounded only by the snow-covered trees, no neighbors. I idly wondered if it looked just as nice surrounded by all green when it wasn't snowing. It was sleek and modern yet it had a woodsy feel that put it right in place with the forest. I wondered how he could afford it.

I'd gotten the address from Rosalie through Emmett. They'd been talking ever since the night at The Lodge, and it had worked to my benefit, so here I was. Showing up here and talking to Edward had been much easier to talk about than actually do. I couldn't even bring myself to knock on the door. There was no how-to manual on this. I was winging it, so naturally I was trying to talk myself out of it.

It wasn't too late to turn around and leave...

_No, you have to do this._

Maybe I could leave a note instead of actually talking to him...

_No._

Or I could just leave my number...

_No! Man up, Swan._

Think of Matt. Think of Matt. _Think of yourself._ I exhaled and watched as my breath turned into a visible puff.

"Don't be a coward," I whispered to myself. I had to remember this was not a total stranger. This was Edward. I raised my fist to the door. _It's just a stupid door. Knock already. _I did, and it opened only a few second later to reveal an unsurprised Edward standing behind it.

"I was wondering how long it would take you..." he trailed off.

I looked up at him, puzzled. "What?"

"I heard you pull up," he told me, glancing at my truck.

"Oh," I said lamely as I felt the heat rush to my face out of embarrassment. He'd been waiting on the other side of the door the whole time, waiting for me to get up the courage to just knock. We were quiet for an awkward moment, and I couldn't exactly tell how he felt about me being here. I knew he was probably waiting for me to say something since I'd been the one to show up unannounced at his house this time, but I couldn't find the words. I had no idea how or where to begin.

Edward eventually took initiative and broke the silence. "It's cold out here. Do you want to come in?" he asked, opening the door wider as he stepped aside to allow me space to pass.

I sighed with relief and nodded as I slipped past him into the unfamiliar place. The inside of the house did not disappoint. It was even nicer on the inside than it was on the outside. It was hard to believe Edward had furnished it himself. Surely he'd had some help, and if he had, I had to be sure to get their number from him before I left.

I walked into what I assumed to be the living room which was decorated in warm, earthy tones. A long cream-colored sectional sat against the west wall and two brown recliners sat across from it. In the middle was a flat screen and a cozy fireplace.

"Nice house," I said as I heard him close the front door.

"Thank you," he said quietly, walking into the room and motioning for me to sit.

"How long have you lived here?' I wondered aloud as I chose a seat on the couch.

"A few years," he shrugged.

I nodded but said nothing else. The awkward tension was still there, hanging heavy in the air.

He let out a breath and sat down across from me. "I know you didn't come here to talk about my house, Bella."

I chewed on my already swollen lip until I could taste blood. "You're right," I admitted, nodding slowly. "First, I should, uh, apologize though. I'm sorry for what I said at Charlie's. It was a little harsh."

He shifted in his seat. I could tell he was uncomfortable talking about it. Obviously, it wasn't a fond memory for either of us, and it certainly wasn't one of my proudest moments.

"It's fine, Bella. You don't have to apologize for that. I don't blame you for the things you said," he replied, looking me in the eye. "I deserved them."

"Well, about the things I said..."

"Look, I told you it was fine. lf all you came here to do was apologize, let's forget about—"

"No, I-I wanted to talk about it."

"Talk about it?" he questioned.

I took a deep breath, stalling just a few more seconds as if it would help me now. It was too late to go back. "About whatever happened between us...back then, I mean. I just need you to tell me your side is all," I told him truthfully.

"I don't really think it matters anymore, do you?" he asked skeptically.

"Yes, I do," I told him confidently. "It matters. Of course it matters."

He sat back, shaking his head slightly. "We're not in high school anymore."

"I know that," I said a little defensively. "But I still want to hear it. It's important."

"What do you want to hear, Bella?" he sighed, running a hand through his wild hair.

"Well, the truth would be a good start," I said dryly.

He closed his eyes briefly and pinched the bridge of his nose, something he often used to do when he was trying to think or when he was frustrated. "That could take a while."

Oh no you don't. You're not getting out of this one, Cullen. "Well, that's why I'm here. We've got all day."

He was silent for several moments as he stared hard at the white carpeted floor. "I'd always been with you, the same girl," he said finally, his words muffled.

Okay, that's not what I was expecting to hear. "What?"

"We'd always been together since we were little kids, Bella," he began, rubbing a hand over his face again before finally looking at me. "I felt like maybe it would be good for both of us if we just..."

"Just what?" I demanded impatiently.

He shook his head slightly, looking conflicted. "I met Tanya, and I actually liked talking to her. Before Tanya came along, I had never thought it was possible to like being with any girl besides you. It was strange, but it made me question everything. It made me feel like maybe I hadn't gotten a chance to…"

"To shop around?" I supplied.

He grimaced at my choice of words, but there was really no other way to put it. He couldn't even find the right words to make it sound better than it actually was.

"I'm ashamed to admit it, but, essentially, yes," he replied. "I was fifteen, and I was scared that neither of us would get to 'shop around' as you worded it so eloquently. It was selfish and stupid, I know, but I wasn't just thinking of myself. I thought maybe you'd find someone better, that maybe _I_ wasn't good enough."

I stared at him for a moment before realizing he wanted me to say something, respond somehow. "That…is such bullshit, Edward That's a total copout!"

"What?" he asked, his eyes widening in shock.

"Edward, you forgot I've known you forever, and I know that is such a crock of shit, and you know it, too. You were with Tanya because you wanted to climb the social ladder and be popular in high school. You used her just like you used me, so just don't try to turn it into some selfless act," I warned. "I want the real truth. Now you can finish your story."

"Now, wait a minute. I already admitted it was selfish of me, I know that now, but I never used you, Bella," he argued, anger reaching his voice and his eyes.

I scoffed, rolling my eyes. "No, you just kept me waiting on the sidelines while you lived your life without me."

He stood up abruptly, making me jump a little. "Damn it, Bella! Haven't you been listening to a word I've said? I broke all contact with you for a reason. I wanted you to have a clean break. I thought it would be better that way, and, yes, I was thinking of myself, too. After I met another girl I could actually like spending time with besides you, I foolishly thought that just maybe there could be someone else. It was stupid and selfish to think that way, and for that I am truly sorry, Bella, but I'm not sorry for trying to give you a chance at something better. You…you were always different, Bella; you still are, and I knew you would make something out of yourself, and you did, didn't you? All I ever heard about over the years was what a successfully writer you've become. You went to Dartmouth for crying out loud. So I was right, wasn't I? You did better without me."

My blood was boiling now. He had no idea what he was talking about. The words stupid and foolish and selfish didn't come close to covering it, but I'd let him finish.

He searched my eyes for something but for what I had no idea, and I also had no idea if he found it or not. When I remained quiet he sat back down, exhaling. "And for the record, Tanya used me, too. We _both_ used each other for our own reasons. I know at times she was shallow and even cruel in public, but she wasn't all as bad as she seemed. She had problems, you know? Daddy issues and drug issues... She was a seriously messed up kid, just like I was."

I shook my head. "You weren't a messed up kid, Edward," I scolded him, annoyed that he'd try to add that to the excuse pile, too.

"Oh, but I was. Still am," he shrugged. "I've given you plenty of proof of that, haven't I?"

I opened my mouth to protest, but he held up a hand, stopping me.

"It's the truth, and you know it. I watched my mother waste away, and I was the one who took care of her, not my father. He was busy off having affairs and getting drunk off his ass. Then to top it all off he married her sister, and I was pissed all the time...about all of it, and I took it out on everyone around me. That's what I talked with Tanya about. She understood the drinking and the affairs. Her parents were pretty screwed up, too." He was searching my face again, probably for some sort of reaction.

He was searching for a response, and he got one. My mouth was hanging open at his admissions about his father. I'd known Esme was Elizabeth's sister, but I never knew about the affairs or the drinking. I'd always thought Carlisle Cullen was the man holding his family together, but if Edward was telling the truth, Carlisle had been the one pulling it apart. I never knew.

"How come you never told me about that stuff?" I demanded, unable to keep the annoyed edge out of my voice. There was something else, too. Something else I was feeling, and it took me a moment to figure out what it was since I rarely ever felt it. I knew it was kind of silly, but a part of me actually felt...jealous of Tanya. She'd been the one to hear about this, to bond with him over this. I'd always thought the darkest part of Edward's life had been him losing his mother, watching her slowly die, but there had been so much more, so much more that I had been left out of. I thought I'd known Edward back then, but now I doubted that more than ever, and it infuriated me.

He looked at me sheepishly, his eyebrows knitting together in...guilt? "I don't know," he said, his voice nearly cracking. "Every day I regret the things I did because I know that if I hadn't done them that we'd be together now. Things would be so different, Bella."

I nodded, knowing it was completely true. If we had been together, I knew I would never have been the one to walk away. "I would have given you everything," I told him honestly, feeling the familiar sting of tears forming in my eyes. At the time, I would have given him everything.

The look of regret that burned in his eyes was unmistakable. "And for the rest of my life I will regret that I was too stupid to see that back then."

"I'm glad I didn't though," I told him honestly. "If I had, everything would have been so much worse when you decided to leave me."

He nodded. "I guess that's fair."

"Can I ask you something?"

"I don't see why not. I've just told you the last dark secret I've tried to hide from you," he said seriously. "Shoot."

"How come you never talked to me even after you and Tanya broke up?" I asked curiously which had been something I'd wanted to know.

He sighed as if he'd been expecting a different question. "I felt like it was probably too late. I knew you already hated me, and I knew Emmett would have cut my balls off if I went near you again. And, plus, there was always stuff going on...at home, I mean. Esme and I fought _a lot_ which in turn caused Carlisle to fight with me a lot, too. Of course, all that made Emmett hate me even more, so we fought, too."

I never thought I could ever feel bad for Edward Cullen again, but here I was; ready to turn on the waterworks. "I never knew how bad it was. With Carlisle, I mean. Do you two still talk?" I asked.

"Yeah, sometimes," he said casually, shrugging. Too casually.

I snorted out a laugh. "In Edward talk that's code for almost never, only on holidays."

He smirked. "You still know me too well for your own good."

"So...does that mean I'm right?" I pressed.

"Are you going to marry Matt?" he asked randomly, mirroring my tone.

"What?"

"He was going to propose before..." he trailed off.

"Yeah, it's okay to say it," I assured him. "Before Charlie died."

"Yeah...well, did he ask you?" He was trying to play it casual, but I could see the curiosity, the need to know burning behind his eyes.

"No, not exactly," I told him truthfully.

"What does 'not exactly' mean?" he asked. He was just getting nosey now.

"It means we've talked about it," I said carefully.

"He wants to," he stated.

"Well, yes."

"Do you?"

"I don't really think that's any of your business, Edward," I said sternly.

He sighed. "You're right, but it still doesn't change the fact that I still want to know."

"Yes, but it doesn't mean you'll get an answer," I told him as I checked my watch. "I should go. Matt wants to have dinner." I didn't miss the hurt look that flashed quickly across his eyes before he regained composure.

He nodded, giving me a rueful tight-lipped smile. "Right. Dinner with Matt," he said disdainfully, not even bothering to try to hide his annoyance which I found annoying...if that made any sense at all.

"He's not a bad guy," I said defensively.

Edward smiled crookedly, but it didn't reach his eyes. "I'm sure he isn't, but that won't give me any comfort or keep me from knowing it could have been me in his place right now."

No one liked regrets or dwelling on the past, so I decided it was really a good time to go before I started doing the same. He stood up when I did, reaching down by my feet to retrieve my purse. I took it from him with a quiet 'thanks' and he walked me to the door.

"I'll, um, see you around maybe," I said awkwardly as he unlocked the door.

"Would it be okay if I came to the funeral?"

I hesitated for a moment before I realized what the right thing to do was. "Yeah, I'd like that, Edward."

He opened the door and we walked out onto the porch together. The weather had gotten colder, but the snow had stopped falling.

I paused, turning to look at him. "And for the record, Edward, I never hated you," I told him truthfully. It was time for a little truth of my own. "I waited for you to come back after you broke up with Tanya. I thought things would go back to normal, that maybe she was the problem all along. I thought you'd come back, Emmett did, too, but you never." I gave him a weak half-smile, and turned and walked to my car alone. He didn't follow me, and I got in my car and drove away without any protest from him.

As I drove away, I glanced back in my rearview mirror to see Edward still standing there, watching me drive away. The look on his face was unreadable. I realized now he was truly in the rearview mirror of _my_ life now. Maybe this is what was meant to be.

My cell phone went off in my purse, and I came to a stop at the end of Edward's long driveway to retrieve it. I smiled slightly as I saw Matt's name flash across the screen.

* * *

**A/N: **So...what's the verdict? Anyone taking pity on Edward yet? ;)

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*****SPECIAL THANKS*****

Thank you, **Kitty Vuitton**, for recommending this story for Fic of the Week at The Lemonade Stand. That was very kind of you, and I really appreciate it :)

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**Stick around if ya want...**


	9. Chapter 9

**Of Lions and Lambs**

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Twilight. No copyright infringement intended.

**I apologize in advance for any mistakes you may find...**

* * *

**"If I die, I will wait for you, do you understand? No matter how long. I will watch from beyond to make sure you live every year you have to its fullest, and then we'll have so much to talk about when I see you again…" ~Jeaniene Frost**

**Chapter Nine**

I watched silently as they lowered Charlie's flower-covered coffin into the ground. Matt stood close behind me, holding an umbrella over us as a precaution for the impending rain. We were the only ones left now. Most everyone else had gone already.

_"He'd said your whole life, even when you were a just a little girl, you'd always lived life on a flimsy bridge, Bella. And he said that you didn't just walk on it either; you played on the railing and teetered dangerously close to the edge, ready to leap," Matt began, smiling faintly._

_Suddenly, my chest felt too small._

_"He said it had always been his job to catch you if that ever happened, if you ever decided to leap, but that he knew he wouldn't have to worry about that anymore," Matt said, his eyes boring into mine intensely. "He said he knew I would take care of you, and he was right, Bella. I will take care of you."_

The words were on replay in my head.

"Bella," Matt whispered. I could feel the weight of his hand on the shoulder of my heavy coat.

I glanced up at him to see the look of genuine concern in his eyes, and I realized why when I felt the tear slip down the side of my face. I quickly wiped it away and tossed one last glance at the casket.

"Let's go," I said, walking past Matt and heading for the car.

He quickly caught up with me, matching my pace easily. "Bella, hang on."

I didn't slow down. I was ready to leave. Quite honestly, if I stayed another second, the waterworks would surely start, and I wasn't sure I'd be able to cut them off.

I felt his hand on my shoulder again. "Hey, hey, slow down," he urged softly.

I did, but not by much. I spotted our car…almost there.

He caught me by the arm. "Bella, wait a minute…Talk to me, please. Are you okay?"

I sighed, coming to a stop in front of him. "Let's just get home, okay?" I said, pleading with my eyes, hoping he'd understand which home I meant. Home in Seattle. I wanted to get out of this town as soon as possible.

He stepped forward, reaching up to stroke the side of my face to brush the hair out of my face. "Just calm down, okay? It's alright. We can be back in Seattle by tomorrow morning if you want, but we still have some things to sort out here, you know?"

Yes, I did know. Charlie's things. His house.

I nodded. "I know," I sighed. "I just want to get out of this damn town." The rain was starting now. Luckily, they had a tent set up above Charlie.

The rain sped up fast, turning into huge, fat drops, hitting the ground with a steady, almost soothing rhythm. I felt Matt's arms wrap around me and I gave in to the warmth. I welcomed the embrace, needed it. I felt his warm breath in my hair before he gently kissed my temple.

"The rain's picking up. Let's at least get to the car," he murmured in my ear, keeping an arm wrapped securely around my waist as we walked in silence to his car. He opened my door for me and I slid into the low coop with ease. He rounded the car and hurriedly to get in, tossing the wet umbrella into the backseat as he did so.

I turned my head to look out the window as I heard keys jingle as he prepared to start the car. I waited, eager to leave, but the car never started. I turned to find him staring at me, waiting for something, but for what I had no idea.

After a long pause, words filled the air between us.

"Are you okay?" he finally asked.

I nodded slowly, swallowing thickly. I watched as the rain hurriedly gathered on the windshield, turning into a waterfall.

He sighed, turning his entire body towards me now. "No, you're not," he said softly, reaching over to hold one of my hands in my lap.

I shrugged. "He's gone, and it's really starting to sink in," I told him truthfully but knew there was so much more. I closed my eyes briefly as Matt rubbed soothing circles into my hand with his thumb.

He nodded silently before asking, "But there's something else, too, isn't there?"

I shook my head. "No."

"You're lying, Bella," he said immediately.

God, I hated how people could see right through me. "It's nothing."

"Nothing?" he asked skeptically.

"Nothing," I repeated, hoping if I kept lying he'd just drop it, but it seemed I never got what I wanted.

He didn't look convinced. "Rose told me you went to see Edward," he said bluntly, but he didn't sound angry.

I turned to stare at him, wide-eyed. "She what?" I demanded in disbelief.

"You went to see him," he shrugged. "It's okay. I'm not mad or anything, you know. I just wish _you_ would have said something instead of Rose."

"I would have," I lied. "It wasn't Rose's place to say anything!" I knew I sounded like a child now, but it didn't change the fact that she went behind my back. She was supposed to be my best friend, someone I could trust and rely on. She was supposed to keep my secrets even if she didn't agree with them.

"She was just looking out for you, you know," Matt reminded me, always the voice of reason in chaos.

I sighed and slumped back against my seat, glaring at the dashboard. "When did she tell you?" I questioned.

"Last night. After you went to bed early," he replied.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I had a bone to pick with her later. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you," I said softly, still not looking at him. "I'm so sorry. I just…I'm sick of this town and everything in it. It's drudging up too many bad memories."

He was quiet for a moment, planning his next question, I'm sure. I prepared myself, but did not hear at all what I was expecting.

"I saw him staring at you during the funeral," he said suddenly, catching me off-guard. His voice was low and heavy with...anger? Or perhaps jealousy? Maybe both.

"What?" I asked, turning my head to get a look at his face.

"He was staring at you, and I didn't like it," he admitted, almost sounding sheepish for his admission. He stared straight ahead, his knuckles turning white. "When I think about how he hurt you…I want to break his jaw. Every time."

I rarely ever heard Matt talk like this, and I rarely ever saw a jealous side of him, but I knew it was justified. And I wondered if it was wrong that a small part of me liked it, knowing how protective Matt was.

"Nothing happened," I told him. It scared me a bit that I felt the need to say this as if I almost felt guilty for going to talk to Edward now.

"I know," he murmured. "But what happened with him, Bella? Back then, I mean."

"What do you mean?" I asked. "You already know the story."

He looked me in the eyes, and the intensity I found in his nearly made my breath hitch. "Not the whole one and I haven't heard it from you." He paused, closing his eyes briefly. "Look, I know it's normal not to forget your first love, but he had his hooks...so deep in you. For years. Why?" he demanded, sounding a little angry.

I knew my answer couldn't be taken lightly. He wanted a real one. Real answers were always harder to come up with, but his question wasn't anything I hadn't thought of before. It was something I had pondered over quite a bit, especially over the last few days. I remembered in high school when I'd even resorted to trying to be more like Tanya. I'd tried to dress like her, like the girls Edward would hit on. I'd tried to style my hair differently. I tried makeup...that was a bust. I'd even tried wearing four-inch high death trap heels. I'd tried to change me.

I felt small as I glanced up at Matt again. He was waiting for an answer. I sighed, pulling my legs beneath me as I turned to him. I had no choice but to let him in.

"There was always this mold," I began.

Matt's expression softened as he listened, encouraging me to open up, something I didn't like to do but something I had to. I couldn't lose him, not right now.

I swallowed again just to keep the words weighed down for just a moment longer. "And I was always trying my best to fill it, but it was like no matter what I did I could never fill it just right. Edward made sure of that, and he...he took small pieces of me. Pieces so small over time I didn't really notice while it was happening."

I paused, taking another deep breath. Matt was listening quietly, but I could see the muscles in his jaw slowly clenching and unclenching repeatedly.

"I did move on eventually though," I said, trying to assure Matt rather than myself. "He just left a sting is all. He made me build walls around myself, but then I met you."

He visibly relaxed, glancing sideways at me and waiting for me to continue, but I realized I no longer wanted to talk about Edward. I was sick of talking about Edward. There were only a few words needed.

"I love you," I whispered, looking him straight in the eye.

He took one look at me, his eyes traveling to my lips and back up to my eyes. Before I had time to wish he would kiss me, his lips crashed to mine. I could feel everything in his kiss, his passion and pain, his anger and love. I could feel all of his emotions.

Slowly, he'd managed to ease me onto my back the best we could in this car, him hovering over me. The kiss deepened, and I gave in happily. His tongue slipped inside my mouth to tenderly massage mine, and I felt the familiar sensations tingling inside the pit of my stomach and other various parts of my body.

He had to be the one to break the kiss when we needed air, but his lips remained on me, trailing down my neck and peppering kisses on my shoulder and collarbone. I let my hands run through his hair, my fingernails grazing his scalp, before they traveled down to dip into his shoulders. This seemed to urge him on as he began to unbutton my blouse.

But the rational Bella had to kick in. "We have to get back to the house, Matt. People are waiting…" I trailed off, not really wanting him to stop, but stop he did.

He sighed contently as he pressed his forehead to mine. "I want to spend the rest of my life loving you, Bella Swan," he told me, staring at me intensely before placing another soft kiss on my lips, the kind that took the butterflies in my stomach to new heights and also the kind that left me wanting more.

That look, his words... they made my heart flutter. Before I could let myself think about it further, my phone went off. He did not move off of me, and I don't believe he had an intention of letting me go.

"That's Rose's ringtone. She's probably at the house waiting for us along with everyone else," I told him, pushing gently on his shoulders.

He closed his eyes briefly, groaning into the crook of my neck before he moved to get off of me.

I rummaged through my purse, finally finding the source of the ringing. I glanced at the screen to confirm what I already knew and saw Rose's smiling face flashing across the screen. I slid accept and held the phone to my ear.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Bella? Bella, thank god you answered!" Rose cried into the phone. She was hysterical.

I sat up instantly, my heart speeding up. "Rose, what's wrong?" I demanded, trying to stay calm, but my mind was rapidly thinking up the worst scenarios.

Matt immediately sat up a little straighter, too, staring at me questioningly. "What happened?" he whispered.

I held up a finger to tell him to wait a second.

Rose could barely speak, and when she did her voice broke several times. "It's...it's Emmett," she sobbed out into the phone. You could tell she was really shaken up. I knew something horrible had happened.

"Rose, where are you?" I demanded.

"I—we're at the hospital. Emmett..." she trailed off, her voice cracking again. "God, he was covered in blood! It all happened so fast. This car ran a stop sign, and it almost hit me, but he...God, he pushed me out of the way, Bella! He just..." She broke off, apparently too upset to finish.

"Rose, I'm coming. Matt and I will be there as fast as we can," I assured her, telling Matt where to take us. He immediately started the car, and we sped off.

"Please hurry," I heard Rose's voice in my ear, barely audible.

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**So...review?**

**See ya next time...**


	10. Chapter 10

**Of Lions and Lambs**

**Disclaimer: **I do NOT own Twilight. No copyright infringement intended.

The rest is mine.

**Thanks for being patient everyone :)**

**I apologize in advance for any mistakes you may find...**

* * *

**Chapter Ten**

"Carlisle, we did everything we could," Dr. Gerandy was trying to tell him.

He shook his head, almost in denial. "I want to look at her."

Dr. Gerandy frowned. "I don't think that's a good idea right now."

"I don't give a damn what you think!" Dr. Cullen shouted at him, slamming his fist on his desk, causing me to jump in my seat across the room.

Matt squeezed my hand, and I tried to calm down. Edward looked at a loss for words, his face void of emotion and his jaw hanging open as if he still hadn't come to terms with what had happened. Rose was still shaken up about Emmett.

"She's not going to wake up, Carlisle. The impact—"

"You don't know what the fuck you're talking about, Richard!" Dr. Cullen shouted. I was quite sure in all the years I'd known him I'd never once heard him cuss let alone drop the F-bomb.

Dr. Gerandy's face went blank of emotion and the next words he spoke sounded forced and cold, like he really didn't want to have to say them. "She wasn't wearing her seatbelt. She went right through the windshield."

Dr. Cullen glared at the man with such hatred that you could practically feel it in the air. This conversation was too personal, and I felt like I definitely shouldn't be here. Matt, Rose, and I shouldn't be here to listen to this. It's was too private, none of our business. We were intruders on a very personal matter. Matt was also tensed beside me, and I knew he felt he shouldn't be here either.

Dr. Cullen looked like a desperate madman. Almost his entire world was falling apart in one day. His son, Emmett, was in surgery, and his wife, Esme, was in a coma that they didn't think she could come out of.

"How is Emmett's surgery going?" Rosalie asked, looking directly at Dr. Gerandy.

He exhaled, looking extremely relieved and grateful for the change of subject. "Emmett seems to be doing just fine for now. I believe he'll make a full recovery."

Carlisle Cullen let out a deep breath and excused himself from the room. Dr. Gerandy followed, probably to make sure he didn't do anything rash.

That left me, Matt, Rose, and Edward. There couldn't be a more awkward bunch with Edward being the guy I used to love, Matt being the guy I now loved, and Rose being the best friend who still wanted to murder the guy I used to love.

Rose was still a mess since Matt and I had arrived at the hospital. Her usually perfect blonde hair was in disarray which was reason enough to panic. Her frantic, guilty blue eyes were bloodshot and had circles under them.

"I can't believe this happened," Rose sniffled, wiping her red nose with a wadded up tissue.

I patted and rubbed her back in a manner that I hoped provided some sort of comfort. "It's not your fault," I told her, glancing over at Edward who was still as a statue and hadn't made a sound.

He sat on the edge of his father's desk, his legs crossed out in front of him. He was staring at the ground, his hand on his chin, and his brow furrowed. He was apparently contemplating something very hard.

"Edward?" I asked quietly.

He didn't move or even look up.

"Edward," I said louder, leaning forward a little.

His head snapped up and he stared at me, unblinking.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, getting a little concerned now.

He looked away slowly, nodding, but he still wouldn't say anything.

"Do you think we could check on Emmett's surgery?" Rosalie asked him.

He glanced up at her then back down at the floor. "We need to wait."

Rose's voice got a little louder. "For what?" she demanded, sounding a little annoyed. "One of the nurses could give us an update. I want to make sure he's okay."

"Dr. Gerandy already said he was," Edward reminded her, taking on an annoyed tone of his own.

"What? I don't care what he said ten minutes ago! Geez, what kind of brother are you anyway?" Rosalie demanded.

Edward gave her the meanest glare I'd ever seen him give anyone. "I'm the kind of brother that doesn't want to interrupt them while they're performing surgery to save my brother's life," he growled at her.

Rosalie glared daggers at him, but sat back in her seat. I could see she agreed with him, but had no plans of ever admitting it.

I glanced at Matt who looked as uncomfortable as I was about being here. Should we be here?

"Rose, maybe we should go and come back later," I said to her. "Maybe Edward could call us when they have some news."

"I'm not leaving," she said immediately.

Edward rolled his eyes, grumbling something under his breath.

"What did you say?" Rosalie demanded, her eyes burning with anger now.

"Oh, nothing, nothing," he grinned at her which only pissed her off more. Not really a good idea.

"Listen, Cullen, you might get away with treating everyone else in this Podunk town like shit, but you won't get away with it with me," she spat at him.

Edward opened his mouth to retaliate, but I knew I had to smother this fire before it spread.

"You guys, stop fighting. We're all here for the same reason, remember?" I tried to reason with them.

Rose looked like she was ready to spout a string of foul language at Edward, but instead she huffed and turned her head the other way.

"I'm going to go check on my father," Edward said, standing.

Of course it was a complete lie. I remembered how Edward had told me about the strained relationship between him and Dr. Cullen. You could see it just by being in the same room with them. You could see the way they hardly spoke, only when they had to. The way Edward avoided his eyes. It was clear they hadn't found a way to co-exist with one another other than just to ignore each other.

Edward left anyway though. That left Rose, Matt, and me.

"I hate that guy. He's such an asshole," Rose complained.

"He's just worried about Esme and Emmett," I defended him, causing Rose to gawk at me as if I were insane.

"Bella-"

"She's right, Rose. It's his brother and his stepmom," Matt piped up, surprising me. I was happy to hear Matt agreeing with me...although I didn't mention the part about Esme being a key reason Edward and his father fought or hardly spoke at all anymore.

Rose huffed again, slumping back in her chair. I could almost see the steam coming out of her ears.

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**EPOV**

I couldn't believe that was the same girl Emmett never shut up about. Rosalie, or 'my Rosie' as Emmett insisted on fucking calling her in front of me, was a real pain in the ass if you asked me. Deep down I knew she was just worried about Emmett like I was, but I wasn't about to admit it, especially not in front of her.

I stormed out of my father's office, away from Bella and Matt holding hands. That shit pissed me off, too, even thought I knew it had absolutely no right to. I could see the loving way Matt looked at her, held her and I could see Bella's response to it.

Fuck, on top of everything else that had happened today I had to watch them.

I finally spotted my dad by the nurse's station, probably trying to find out how things were going for Emmett. As I approached, though, I heard an entirely different conversation.

"Look, just let me see her scans, Sheryl," he was saying to an unsure-looking nurse.

The nurse, Sheryl, threw a nervous glance to Dr. Gerandy who shook his head.

She looked back up to Carlisle, her eyes almost fearful. "I'm sorry, Dr. Cullen, but I can't."

"What the hell do you mean you can't?" he practically yelled at her, slamming his hands down on the counter.

Finally, Dr. Gerandy stepped in. "Carlisle, that's enough. You're getting out of line."

Carlisle turned ten shades of red dangerously fast.

"Dad, stop," I almost pleaded. I'd never really seen him like this, this mad...well, except for when he fought with me maybe. "What's going on? Is something wrong with Emmett?" I demanded quickly.

"I want to look at Esme's MRI," he said, not bothering to look at me.

Okay... "What about Emmett? How is he?" I asked, turning to Dr. Gerandy and the nurse.

Dr. Gerandy looked relieved to see me swoop in and change the subject before things got out of hand. "Sheryl," he said, turning to the nurse, "please go check on Emmett Cullen. See how the surgery is going."

The nurse nodded quickly, obviously eager to get of out the way of Carlisle's path of destruction as she scurried away.

"Thank you," I said politely to Dr. Gerandy.

He nodded, throwing once last cautious glance at Carlisle before walking away. Once he was gone, I glared at my father.

"You haven't even asked about Emmett, have you?" I demanded lowly. "The only person you're fucking concerned about is Esme, huh?"

He turned on me then. "You don't have a clue what you're talking about, Edward."

_Oh, but I do, Dad._

In that moment I fucking hated him more than I ever had. While my mother laid on her death-bed, slowly rotting away, he'd been screwing her sister. Now, while his son, my brother was laying in an ER cut open, he still put her first, his mistress. He'd never gotten this upset while Mom was dying, so what the fuck was so special about Esme? She was the woman who had helped take care of my mother, her sister while she died. She was my aunt. She came to all my birthday parties when I was a kid and was there when I learned how to ride a damn bicycle. She fucking smiled in my mother's face all while screwing her husband, my dad.

"Fuck you," I spat at him, turning on my heel and storming off.

* * *

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**Stick around if ya want...**


	11. Chapter 11

**Of Lions and Lambs**

**Disclaimer: **I do NOT own Twilight. No copyright infringement is intended.

**The rest is mine though.**

**Thank you everyone for continuing to read and review. You guys are awesome :)**

**I apologize in advance for any mistakes you may find…**

* * *

**Chapter Eleven**

"You don't have to stay, you know," Edward told me, glancing at me sideways.

Matt had gone to get something to drink and Rosalie was with Emmett in his room as we stood in the doorway, watching them together. Emmett's surgery had gone well. He was a bit banged up, but he was already awake and cracking jokes again. He was back to his old self and Rosalie was falling hard. I could see it, but I knew better than to think she'd admit it.

"I want to," I assured Edward although I don't know why I felt the need to. I could leave. Matt and I could leave, and Rosalie and Emmett would be fine here without us. We didn't _have_ to stay.

He gave me a small, half-hearted smile. He'd been acting off since the day of the accident. Although Emmett was fine, his stepmother was another issue. She had yet to wake up. The doctors didn't think she ever would. Well, Dr. Gerandy didn't think she ever would, at least. Carlisle was seeking other opinions.

"How is Carlisle holding up?" I asked carefully. I wasn't sure if their relationship had improved or not. Knowing Edward, I was betting on the latter.

Edward's tensed up beside me, and he slipped on a protective mask void of emotion. "He's fine," he replied shortly.

I resisted the very strong urge to roll my eyes. Even now, with everything going on they couldn't put anything aside and be there for one another or at least for Esme and Emmett.

"What about Esme?" I asked, watching his reaction closely.

"The same," he sighed. "She's not going to wake up."

"Doctors can be wrong," I said quietly, trying to find some hope in the situation, but Edward didn't look convinced. He never was an optimistic one.

"She's not going to wake up," he repeated before his voice took on a bitter tone when he spoke again. "But rest assured that Carlisle will obsess over it."

I shrugged, trying to act casual about it. "It's his wife."

Edward's jaw tightened and I saw his hands form tight fists at his sides as he uncrossed his arms, and I knew why. We both knew why, but it remained unspoken between us.

I sighed. "Edward," I began, "I am so sorry. I wish I would have known everything back then. I'm sorry."

He relaxed a little, letting out a shaky breath. "It isn't your fault. It was mine, remember?"

"Yeah, but obviously you didn't feel comfortable enough to tell me. I'm sorry you felt like you had to find someone else," I said honestly. "I would have been there."

He glanced up at me, and there was a certain sadness in his eyes that spoke volumes of regret and pain.

"I would have," I affirmed. "I'll still be here for you."

He opened his mouth to say something but quickly shut it when Matt appeared at my side. He handed me a bottle of water as he took a sip from his own. I noticed he hadn't asked Edward if he'd wanted anything beforehand.

I looked ahead at Emmett and Rosalie talking to each other, all smiles. I hoped Matt hadn't heard anything we'd just said. I knew it was ridiculous and childish. It was immature of me to feel like I had to sneak around. I didn't think I'd done anything wrong. Edward and I could be friends. There was nothing wrong with that, and he desperately needed one right now.

So why did I feel like I should hide it from Matt? Why did I feel like it was best to keep it a secret?

I shook my head slightly and took a large gulp of my water. My throat felt dry.

I could feel two pairs of eyes boring holes into me. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Edward staring at me, and I could feel Matt's eyes roaming over my face. Perhaps Matt was looking for evidence of the mood of what Edward and I had talked about. He was searching my face for clues. Maybe he could see the expression of conflict on my face or the guilt beneath it. God, I hoped not.

* * *

**EPOV**

Rosalie had been glued to Emmett's bedside the moment since he'd gotten out of surgery. Now don't get me wrong…I was glad Emmett had someone who cared that much about him, and no doubt the fucker loved every single minute of it, but I needed to talk to him.

So, I was ecstatic when Rosalie finally had to leave for a while to go home with Bella to get a shower and retrieve a change of clothes and some toiletries. Now might be my only chance. So as soon as they were out of sight I jumped at the only chance I might possibly get.

"Emmett," I said quietly as I entered his room.

"Hey, Eddie," he boomed, grinning like a fool. The intimidating white bandage wrapped around his forehead looked more serious than it really was, thankfully.

"You're in a pretty good mood for someone who got run over," I said.

He grinned from ear to ear. "Yeah, Rosalie's amazing, huh?"

I resisted the immense urge to scoff and spit a sarcastic remark at that, but I somehow refrained.

His smile slowly faded off though, turning into sadness. "How's Esme? Any changes?" he asked eagerly, hopefully.

I shook my head. "Carlisle is trying to get a second opinion from someone who will tell him what he wants to hear."

Emmett rolled his eyes at me. "It's Dad, Edward, not Carlisle. We're his sons, so we call him Dad, remember?" he asked sarcastically.

I glared at him. "Don't start with me."

He sighed tiredly. "Wait till I'm out of this bed, Edward," he warned. "I'm going to force you two to reconcile this mess you've both created."

Just like that my temper began to boil red hot under my skin, and it was dangerously close to surfacing. I wanted to tell him it hadn't been my fault at all. I wasn't the one who had betrayed his family. I wasn't the one who had created this mess, and I sure as hell wouldn't be the one to clean it up.

"I'm your brother. Aren't you supposed to be on my side?" I demanded, annoyed.

He frowned. "You're not supposed to pick sides when it comes to family. It's not right."

I wanted to have Em on my side, backing me up. He was supposed to be on my side. I thought about telling him how _Dad_ hadn't even fucking asked or cared about him. No, instead, our loving father was far more concerned about our lovely stepmother who had run Emmett over in the first place. Carlisle was through worrying about Emmett the second he learned Esme was involved in the accident.

"I'm sorry, but you're my brother and he's _our_ father. I love you both," he said. "And we're his sons. He loves us, too."

Hah! I seriously wondered how Emmett could be this blind. Or maybe he just didn't want to face the truth. He never spoke about our father's affair with Esme. He never talked about Mom. He just…buried it, I guess. Emmett was never the type to dwell on the past or hold grudges. Well, I, however, was different.

I sighed, closing my eyes briefly and pinching the bridge of my nose to regain some composure over myself and my temper. I knew I was short on time before Rosalie got back, and this wasn't what I'd wanted to discuss with him. "Look, I didn't come here to argue. I need your help."

"With?" he asked curiously, raising an eyebrow at me.

I took a long, deep breath before beginning. "Please don't scold me like a child or try to convince me not to do this because I'm doing it with or without your permission, but I could _really_ use your help because I'm an idiot and I can't trust myself not to mess it up without someone smacking me upside the head along the way…" I rambled.

"Spit it out already, Ed," Emmett laughed.

I put up a finger to tell him to hang on, that I was getting to it. "I want you to know I'm determined, and I'll try with or without your approval, but I really want your approval." I paused, exhaling. "I'm going to get Bella back."

Emmett groaned, pushing his head back against his pillow. "Not this again. I thought we had already decided this was not a good idea."

"Emmett," I growled at him. "First of all, no, _we_ didn't decide anything. You decided that on your own; I never agreed. Second, I mean it. She's supposed to be with me, Em. She was always supposed to be with me. And, yes, I was an idiot to push her away. I wasn't ready for her back then."

Then he stared at me and stared at me for I don't know how long. I began to wonder if he had any intension of responding.

"Edward…" he began. "I know you don't want to hear this, but Bella has moved on. Wake up. She has Matt now. Remember Matt, her boyfriend?"

I rolled my eyes and glared at my shoes at the mention of him. "Bella doesn't love him," I grumbled.

His eyes widened almost in disbelief. "Oh, and she loves you? Is that it?" he demanded almost mockingly.

I shifted my glare from the floor to Emmett. "She did at one time. Maybe she still does."

"That was a long time ago, Edward. We were kids."

"I don't care. You said yourself I would have to fight for her for the first time in my life, and I'm ready to do that now. Will you help me or not?" I demanded, growing irritated.

He narrowed his eyes at me but said nothing for a long time. I began to think it was his way of denying me his help, and I stood, preparing to leave, but he finally spoke, stopping me in my tracks with his words.

"I swear to God, Edward—no, I swear on our mother's grave that if I help you with this and you fuck up _again_..." he said, letting his threat hang in the air.

My eyes widened. "So you're saying you'll help me?" I asked, raising my eyebrows at him almost in disbelief that he was agreeing. Well, this was easier than I thought it would be.

A slow, evil smile spread across Emmett's face. "I'll help you…"

I wanted to hug the bastard.

"…under one condition."

I wanted to shoot the bastard.

I groaned. _Of course, there was always a catch with this jackass._ "What?" I practically hissed at him.

He laughed, a mischievous glint shining in his eyes. Shit, I knew there was no way this would be that easy.

Emmett began pouting as he spoke his next words. Yes, pouting like a fucking two-year-old. "I don't like going behind my Rosie's back, and since Bella is Rosie's best friend…"

"Oh no," I said, already catching on to what he was thinking. "No! We are _not_ telling her."

"Ah, ah, ah," Emmett taunted. "You came to me needing my help."

I grimaced, gritting my teeth together.

"So, if you really need my help as much as you say then you'll play by my rules. If you can get my Rosie on board with this little scheme of yours then I'll help you," he said, giving me a shit-eating grin.

"And what if I don't?" I sneered at him.

He shrugged, stretching his arms comfortably and putting his hands under his head. "I guess you're on your own then," he sneered back.

Fuck. Damn it. Shit!

"Fine," I said through my clenched teeth.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did you say something Eddie ole pal? I couldn't really hear you. I guess this accident has left me a little…hard of hearing," he smiled, cupping a hand behind his ear.

"I said fine. I'll do it," I snapped at him.

It's a wonder I didn't smother him with a pillow when he was a baby.

* * *

**So... what did you think? Good, bad, or ugly?**

**I know some of you will not be happy with Emmett and Edward, but Edward still has to go through Rosalie ;)**

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**Thanks everyone for reading!**


	12. Chapter 12

"You encouraged this idiotic idea!?" Rosalie was screaming at Emmett.

"No, of course not!" Emmett defended himself immediately.

"Then why the hell is he still entertaining it let alone trying to drag me aboard?" she demanded, her hands flying every which way.

"Well, I told him if he could get you on board, which I knew he could never do," Emmett added quickly before her ears could start shooting steam, "that I would help him, but, like I said, I knew there was no chance of that happening."

_Pussy._

I was now certain that Rosalie had chopped off Emmett's balls and was storing them in a cooler full of ice somewhere.

"He's my brother, Rose," Emmett said sheepishly. "I wanted to help him out is all."

Rosalie glared at me. "You had your chance with Bella, and you blew it. That's all there is to it."

This time my ears started blowing out steam. "No, that's not all there is to it," I disagreed.

"Excuse me?" Rosalie demanded, her face turning bright red in anger.

"You heard me. You have no idea what happened back then and you have no idea what you're talking about now," I told her angrily.

My anger was like fuel to hers.

She stepped closer to me, glaring up at me as she clearly was not at all intimidated by my height or size. "Bella wasn't good enough for you, right? That's why you fucked everything up. She wasn't good enough for the royal, pompous Edward Cullen."

"You guys, please don't fight," Emmett begged, but his pleas went ignored.

"You don't know what you're talking about!" I shouted back at her.

"Excuse me?"

Both Rosalie and I turned our heads sharply to find an anxious nurse popping her head inside the door.

"Is everything okay in here?" she asked shyly, glancing nervously between me and Rosalie.

I stepped away from Rosalie trying to cool off a bit. "Yes, everything is fine," I said curtly.

The nurse didn't look at all convinced and could obviously sense the tension in the room. She looked at Emmett who simply nodded. "It's okay," he told her and she left quickly and quietly.

Rosalie was still glaring at me. "You're a real prick, you know? I mean, here Bella is happy, and you're going to try and ruin it for her?"

"Bella is mine," I growled.

Rosalie's eyes widened. "Are you kidding me? What, like you own her? She's your property?"

"No!" I said immediately. "I mean...I meant that...she's just..."

She shook her head. "Emmett, if you help him with this, we're so done. Do you hear me? If you even think about doing this then I never want to see or hear from you again."

With that, she stormed out of the room.


End file.
